Listening to the song "Mah o Mahi" which I've been addicted to for a couple of days now, I look out at the campus, the campus I studied on, walked on and lived on for two years, and it feels like it has been ages. I almost forgot where the buttons were on the elevator to the third floor of Siebel, the computer science department and I had definitely forgotten about how long it takes for the door to close on the first floor. But some things are still the same, like how Davood comes and sits with me in the lunch room for a cup of tea. I used to go to him for tea all the time. I would text him from my office which is on the other end of the third floor and would let him know that I'll be walking over to his office soon, and he'd better be ready for coming to have tea with me. And we would sit right here at this table, where he was sitting a minute ago before going to a group meeting, and talk about our lives. He would tell me things that he is missing and I would always nag, as he says, about something that is not going right in my life. It seems again like it has been ages, I can't really find anything I can nag about anymore.
Although I just did write a letter to Shaghayegh and nagged about still not feeling that I belonged here in the United States. I walked from my previous apartment, which is occupied by my best friend at the moment, to Espresso Royale, my favorite cafe here on campus, ordered a cafe au lait and started writing the letter that I've been meaning to write for a long time. We had this discussion with Shaghayegh about a month ago on FaceTime, about still not feeling we belong here, not feeling this can ever be home. It worries us both. And we both know that we may never be able to call the home we had, the home we came to know, home any more.
Well I just nagged quite a bit, or quite a lot, and I can see that this hasn't changed either, and neither has campus, and neither has life. They all go on... .
