Chapter 1: Smell

Lying in bed, while Facebook messaging my best friend, it comes back to me. It has been a long time since the smell has come to me. Actually I had forgotten about it all together, but surprisingly it came back, very unexpectedly. Last time I smelt it was probably a year ago. I took the car and drove there, playing “Cold Play” the whole way. I was very anxious because I knew it’s probably the last time I will see most of them. And who knew when I would see them again, especially my best friends. The only person’s departure that was settled was mine. 

I get there and park in he right side of the boulevard. A bit further than the park that holds some of our dearest memories. How much debate and struggle we went through to hold the classes there? How many times we went under the water hose in the hot days, or grabbed someone in attempt to drown them in the pool? I even told one of my best friends the beginning of my love story, right there in the middle of the park, sitting in the shadow of that tree. It was exactly four years ago… .

Now it’s four years later and I’m leaving the country. I’m leaving the country in less than a month and as I get closer, each day, I become more scared. I don’t feel confident like I always do, no! I feel scared! I don’t know what expects me there. I have no idea whether I’ll like it, or I’ll hate it? These questions roam in my head every day. The only thing that I’m sure of is that I have to stick with my decision and see it for myself. I have to go and see if it works for me. For the time being, I’m just focusing on that, on having faith in my decision.

I get out of the car, go up the stairs and into my beloved high school. Looking eagerly for familiar faces. Either girls from my own class, or the ones from the years before or after me. I instantly cheer up. This is the effect of this place, it lightens my mood up. And that smell comes. I can’t describe it, it’s not like a real smell. It’s not like the smell of spring or of fall. It’s not like smelling flowers or your favorite food. It’s like the smell of memories, it’s like a jar holding four years of my life and whenever I come back, I open the jar and take a good, long sniff. And just like that, all the memories come back in a flash back. I see faces, classes, teachers, corridors, notebooks, notes, everything. And for me, it’s the best smell in the world.

I find my way to the dining hall, because everyone will be there. Today is the most important day in Ramadan. It’s called Laylat al-Qadr. People gather around and stay up all night, praying. That’s why we have this annual event on this day, because we can stay up and be together, be with the people that we haven’t seen in almost a year, our friends from high school. The reason why it takes place in the dining hall is because we have our Iftar there, the meal we eat and break our fast with. I don’t usually fast myself but I love Iftar, since it has my favorite dishes and deserts. I usually don’t eat anything other than the deserts, and my favorite is Sholezard (Saffron Rice Pudding). And there are plenty of Sholezard dishes here!

I look around to find my friends. Well, I pretty much know everybody. I can’t walk by a table and not say hi to a dozen people. It’s like they are my family, a family that I visit at least once a year. A family that I spent, most probably, the most adventurous four years of my life with. As I go further down the dining hall, I hear a laugh. I can tell that it’s Mana. Mana has this audible, unique laugh of hers that will reveal she is in a room whenever you hear it. And I know if Mana is laughing, then the gang is probably all here.

This friend of mine, whom I’m Facebook messaging is from that gang. She is in Iran, as we speak, and I miss her. I miss her, and I miss being with her and doing the things we used to do back in Iran. I tell her that, and I tell her that sometimes, something happens and I think that if she was here, we would laugh at this, or cry about it together. It’s so strange that she is not here anymore, it’s so strange that I still think about her and her presence every day. Almost a year has passed and sometimes, I think like it was yesterday that I said goodbye to them. I saw them at the last table in the dining hall and I smiled and a I instantly felt a lump in my throat. This was going to be our last gathering, all of us, together.