I would be a dog, a good dog. At least I'd have a sharp nose. A nose with memory. I know that for a fact, because memories come to me with their scents. Each memory is like a scented candle, you open the jar and you take a good, long sniff and everything comes back to you. I would also have sensitive ears, because I can listen to a song, and the place, the feeling, the circumstances in which I was listening to it for the first time all comes back to me in a flash.
I can see myself as a dog, who is locked in a house. The owners have went out and locked him in so he doesn't make any trouble. The house to me is home. I live in this house. I know every corner of it. I love how their shoes smell, how my bowl is filled with my favorite food, how I can stretch myself on the sofa and relax as the sun sets in. I can peek in all its hidden places and find stuff. It feels like home when I 'm here but at the same time, it still has so many new things to offer.
But if I'm realistic, I wouldn't be a happy dog. This dog that is left behind is sitting behind the door, panting. Panting for the door to be opened, for the owners to come home and play with her. I pant when I smell a memory, when a memory is brought back to me by a rhythm, through a song. I listen to my old playlists and I pant, as I want to go back to where I made all those memories. I see a picture from a street I used to walk on, and I pant. Panting at the thought of walking there again, of not knowing what has stayed the same and what has changed. I pant thinking about everything that I'm missing outside that closed door and it's been three years now that I've been panting at that door, waiting for it to be open.
Yes, I would be a good panting dog.
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ReplyDeleteOh! Ur writting shows that u have written them from bottom of ur heart
ReplyDeleteLydia Davis has a short story collection called " Can't And Won't". They're very minimalistic and I was thinking they might appeal to you. There's even a story titled "The Dog" capturing grief, which came to my mind after reading this.
ReplyDeleteThis piece you've written here has stuck with me for years, and I'm coming back to reread it. I do hope you consider turning it to a short story maybe someday?
Perhaps I'd come along the published version someday somewhere.
Oh that’s a great compliment to hear you’ve been coming back to it again. Thank you for telling me and encouraging me to consider publishing it ��
ReplyDeleteDear Sadaf, I find myself reading this story after almost exactly two years. The great first line and the beginning, prose, images, sensory details and so many other things about it draws me in. I hope you are writing and to see this story published someday. It would find a lovely home as a flash fiction in a literary magazine. All the best to you!
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